Feed Starving Mother Artists

Imagine if you were sick and you didn’t know it.  You sneeze day after day after day, but you think, “I’ve always been sneezing day after day, it must be normal, it must just be who I am.”

It would be a bit silly, and maybe it would be easy to point out to this person that sneezing so much isn’t normal.

But what if sneezing every day was normal to a lot of people?  What if it had become an accepted part of society, something people simply saw as an unfortunate accident that happened to certain people?  They figured, “Hey, some people are just born sneezers.”  You start sneezing, and they say to themselves, “There goes one of those sneezers.”

This is the life of many creative people.  People who are sneezing and huffing their way through life and don’t even realize it.

We live in a world that, no matter how liberal it claims to be, still does not see creativity as what it is: an inner reality that simply needs to be expressed, especially within a certain segment of the population.

No, in our STEM-addled, “Science is God” world, creativity is still seen as a hobby best done during “free time”.  Not as an inner-most necessity, a voice that needs to speak to maintain its health, and the most important community-builder (besides religion) in existence.

And so there exists a segment, a large segment, of the population that does not create.  It does not create because it was told from a young age to put its “hobby” to the side, and when other more important things come up, to not pursue it at all.  Even the ones who understand some of its value will often stop at some point, not seeing how crying onto the paper about the sunset they saw yesterday could possibly be as valuable as balancing a checkbook or cleaning the garage.

The result is sneezing.

Spiritual sneezing, to be clear.  Our soul, our brain, and our heart are sneezing.

They say that most artists starve.  It’s true, but not for the reason people think.

Most artists starve because they don’t feed themselves what they need to live: time to create.  Solid, committed time to allow their heart’s voice to escape from its prison of logic.

The symptoms aren’t sneezing, of course.  Often, it comes out as depression.  In my case, it comes out as frustration and anger (gosh, my poor wife when I don’t write).

For others, ironically, it escapes as cynicality, turning these sensitive, beautiful potential artists into the worst critics on earth.  The type of people that become teachers only to mark up their students’ writing with, “Too creative.  Proper grammar is more important than self-expression.  Please see me after class for a verbal spanking.”  The type of people who turn their art-consuming into a desperate attempt at self-expression, by worshipping certain artistic creators and despising others.  Like the religious whose inability to connect to G-d is channeled into severe criticism of others and worship of people-deities, these folks are nothing more than empty shells desperately looking to fill a whole that can be filled in only one way: true, honest self-expression.

And so, not only do artists sneeze, but they spread their sneezing, their sickness.

Julia Cameron calls such artists “blocked artists”.

Our nation suffers from a blocked artist epidemic.  And the worst part is that no one knows it.

Nowhere in our society is this more true than among mothers.

Historically, women in general, and mothers in particular, have been valued for their selflessness.  It is this inherent, beautiful value in women that both men and women have been so quick to use and abuse.  A mother, it is believed even now, should get all her happiness, joy, and fulfillment from her children.  There is no such thing as time just for her, because the myth is that time for others is for her.

Even with the rise of the feminist movement, the idea that women should have a career has become simply another convoluted form of arguing that women can only be fulfilled by giving themselves over to others.  True, a career is chosen, may even be connected to a woman’s desires for fulfillment.  But so is having children.

And thus, the women who most need creativity are often the ones most likely to hide that desire deep, down within.  So much so that they put themselves into situations where it is virtually impossible (or seems virtually impossible) to create art.

These creative women spend so much time giving to others that they forget, or don’t even know, that they need times of self-expression, of inner fulfillment, to simply be healthy, happy, and balanced.  Not to mention in order to help fulfill their soul’s mission in life.

In other words, these creative mothers who think that they are helping their children by not doing art are, in fact, hurting them.  They are making themselves sick, and their inner sneezing is spreading heart-germs on their children.  They’re depressed, and they don’t know why.  They get angry, and they think it is because of their children.  They’re critical, and they think they’re just being “responsible”.

Imagine if you had a pill that could help you with depression, anger, and cynicism, and it had no side-effects.  For a creative person, that’s what committed artistic time is.  It’s not even a pill, it’s food.  It’s air to breathe with.

My wife, Rivka, is starting an organization to help Jewish mothers pay and commit to this health regiment.  It’s called Amalia, and it’s amazing.  Right now, it’s in the process of raising money with the goal of funding all its members so they can hire a babysitter for 5 hours a week so they can spend time creating.  Besides that worthy goal, it is also a community for these creative mothers to connect, encourage, and motivate each other.

It is, in other words, the most aggressive attempt in the Jewish world to heal and fulfill the hearts of mothers.  It is one small step in fighting the creative epidemic afflicting our society.

I ask, if you care about this at all, to check out her crowdfunding campaign and to either contribute it or share it.  Every $10 you give is an hour of babysitter time for a mother who desperately needs it.

If you are a creative mother who thinks she might be sneezing inside, please go to Amalia’s website and reach out to her or apply.

My wife is a beautiful but quiet world-changer.  Holy and contained, she is slowly making Amalia a reality.  With your help, it can become more real than even she imagines it can be.


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55 responses to “Feed Starving Mother Artists”

  1. daniel.saunders Avatar
    daniel.saunders

    This resonates with me. I don’t let myself write poetry enough. I squeeze odd moments here and there. I go through periods of deliberately not writing because of self-doubt and lack of time.

    I’m working on a poem right now, but it’s hard to set aside the time. Moreover, to me reading (poetry, prose fiction and non-fiction, Torah study) is writing, or is potentially writing, because I rely on my reading for inspiration and imagery. But it is hard to justify that even to myself. Though there are deeper issues here about any kind of relaxation being “wrong” for me.

  2. Shoshannah Avatar
    Shoshannah

    I’m not sure society believes art is frivolous. Even threatening graffiti, such as racist and prejudicial vendettas do constitute the inner feelings of whoever is behind the spray paint. Kindle has shut down book stores and the list goes on. Netflix, though most might be perversion of art, it is still creativity. Expressionism has always been a part of humanity, even in the idols pagans “crafted” as their deities. Cooking, for an example is an art that never diminishes. Some might even say that the ability to create a successful stock portfolio is an art. I think it boils down to stereotypes. Is it the kind of art society appreciates? We have a real dilemma there. The market is so saturated with “express yourself” internet avenues that the truly pained are often lost or misrepresented – the same goes for the truly happy. Either way it doesn’t matter; the object I get from this post is supporting the most important job in the world: bringing children into the world and raising them. This could be also said of a single dad, be he an accountant or poet. In the dual income, non-communal world, these men and women are out of mind and therefore out of sight. They need help and as you said they need their “me time” as well as “your time” from them. This is their therapy to be able to stay strong, in touch with others while giving self nutrition and investing in their personal futures. If they are unhappy, their children know it. It extends beyond them to those they touch and nurture. I was a stay-at-home mother for nineteen years. It rarely garnishes a thank you but it was worth it. And I filled a lot of notebooks with a lot of self therapy but yeah, it would have been nice if someone had called to say, “Let’s go have lunch; I have a babysitter for you.” Rather I usually heard. “My child is sick and I can’t take off work. Can you watch him/her? I mean, you just sit home all day anyway right?” I will navigate the website and offer what help I can. As always, TY for sharing.

    1. Bridget O Donnell Avatar
      Bridget O Donnell

      Stuff Christians Say that Makes Jewish People Cringe

      FYI the New Testament was written by Jews. Stopping people from replying to your prejudice says it all.

  3. Tiiffy Avatar
    Tiiffy

    This makes me think of my mother. Although I moved away to attend university, she continuously works tirelessly as Super Mom, taking care of our house and working at her job. I never thought of her as a creative person, but as a steadfast caregiver and go-getter. Perhaps her creativity comes out in her problem solving– I see her joy and excitement when she solves a problem at work and at home. Conversely, she endures immense frustrations when stumped with a stubborn problem. Though practically, I shouldn’t create more problems for her to solve as an opportunity for her to be creative.

    STEM can be a very creative industry. Creativity fuels the innovations that drive it. New processes, new questions and new answers continually arise. Although the bulk of STEM is learning and practicing past discoveries, new discoveries are happening too! Not everyone is complacent with what they know and do; really, no one should be complacent.

  4. Jeffrey Dowling Avatar

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  5. Jeffrey Dowling Avatar

    How I was able to get my husband back from those home breaker

    Am Linda Henrik i was married to my husband for 5 years we were living happily together for this years and not until he traveled to England for a business trip where he met this girl and since then he hate me and the kids and love her only. so when my husband came back from the trip he said he does not want to see me and my kids again so he drove us out of the house and he was now going to Italy to see that other woman. so i and my kids were now so frustrated and i was just staying with my mum and i was not be treating good because my mother got married to another man after my father death so the man she got married to was not treating her well, i and my kids where so confuse and i was searching for a way to get my husband back home because i love and cherish him so much so one day as i was browsing on my computer i saw a testimony about this spell caster Dr Brave testimonies shared on the internet by a lady and it impress me so much i also think of give it a try. At first i was scared but when i think of what meand my kids are passing through so i contact him and he told me to stay calm for just 48 hours that my husband shall come back to me and to my best surprise i received a call from my husband on the second day asking after the kids and i called Dr Brave and he said your problems are solved my child. so this was how i get my family back after a long stress of brake up by an evil lady so with all this help from Dr Brave , i want you all on this forum to join me to say a huge thanks to Dr Brave , and i will also advice for any one in such or similar problems or any kind of problems should also contact him his email is )(bravespellcaster@gmail.com)he is the solution to all your problems and predicaments in life. once again his email address is (bravespellcaster@gmail.com,or kindly visit he Website: http://enchantedscents.tripod.com/lovespell/)

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  6. Jeffrey Dowling Avatar

    How I was able to get my husband back from those home breaker

    Am Linda Henrik i was married to my husband for 5 years we were living happily together for this years and not until he traveled to England for a business trip where he met this girl and since then he hate me and the kids and love her only. so when my husband came back from the trip he said he does not want to see me and my kids again so he drove us out of the house and he was now going to Italy to see that other woman. so i and my kids were now so frustrated and i was just staying with my mum and i was not be treating good because my mother got married to another man after my father death so the man she got married to was not treating her well, i and my kids where so confuse and i was searching for a way to get my husband back home because i love and cherish him so much so one day as i was browsing on my computer i saw a testimony about this spell caster Dr Brave testimonies shared on the internet by a lady and it impress me so much i also think of give it a try. At first i was scared but when i think of what meand my kids are passing through so i contact him and he told me to stay calm for just 48 hours that my husband shall come back to me and to my best surprise i received a call from my husband on the second day asking after the kids and i called Dr Brave and he said your problems are solved my child. so this was how i get my family back after a long stress of brake up by an evil lady so with all this help from Dr Brave , i want you all on this forum to join me to say a huge thanks to Dr Brave , and i will also advice for any one in such or similar problems or any kind of problems should also contact him his email is )(bravespellcaster@gmail.com)he is the solution to all your problems and predicaments in life. once again his email address is (bravespellcaster@gmail.com,or kindly visit he Website: http://enchantedscents.tripod.com/lovespell/)

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  7. Jeffrey Dowling Avatar

    How I was able to get my husband back from those home breaker

    Am Linda Henrik i was married to my husband for 5 years we were living happily together for this years and not until he traveled to England for a business trip where he met this girl and since then he hate me and the kids and love her only. so when my husband came back from the trip he said he does not want to see me and my kids again so he drove us out of the house and he was now going to Italy to see that other woman. so i and my kids were now so frustrated and i was just staying with my mum and i was not be treating good because my mother got married to another man after my father death so the man she got married to was not treating her well, i and my kids where so confuse and i was searching for a way to get my husband back home because i love and cherish him so much so one day as i was browsing on my computer i saw a testimony about this spell caster Dr Brave testimonies shared on the internet by a lady and it impress me so much i also think of give it a try. At first i was scared but when i think of what meand my kids are passing through so i contact him and he told me to stay calm for just 48 hours that my husband shall come back to me and to my best surprise i received a call from my husband on the second day asking after the kids and i called Dr Brave and he said your problems are solved my child. so this was how i get my family back after a long stress of brake up by an evil lady so with all this help from Dr Brave , i want you all on this forum to join me to say a huge thanks to Dr Brave , and i will also advice for any one in such or similar problems or any kind of problems should also contact him his email is )(bravespellcaster@gmail.com)he is the solution to all your problems and predicaments in life. once again his email address is (bravespellcaster@gmail.com,or kindly visit he Website: http://enchantedscents.tripod.com/lovespell/)

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    (7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
    (8) If you need financial assistance.
    (9) if you want your wishes to be granted.
    (10)if you want to stop your divorce.
    (11)if you want to divorce your husband.
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