Don’t Laugh In The Airport

I’m sitting in the airport, on my way back to college, and it’s the usual.  You know.  The awkward silence.  The impatience that you can feel growing up your spine, the awareness you’re about to sit in a tin can that will hurtle through the air and has a tiny chance of exploding, and an even bigger awareness that everyone else feels the same way.

Does anyone really like the airport? I guess that guy from Up in the Air, but he figured out how nuts that was eventually.  Anyone real, and not fictional?  I’ve never met anyone.  It’s like a casino without the fun, just a world unto itself with no fresh air, expensive food, and horrifically bad service.

I’m sitting there, and I’m just waiting for this whole ordeal to be over.

And then she laughs.

Now, normally in a piece like this, a laugh is lilting and high and pretty, and eventually the two people get married.

Not her, nosir.

It was a laugh like… an epically nerdy laugh.  Like, “HA! Hahaha! HAHA! Ha… HA!”

A laugh with no rhythm, that seems to jump from a guffaw to a giggle at a moment’s notice.

Of course, like everyone else at the airport in such situations, I’m embarrassed to look up.  Even worse than the experience is when something unexpected happens.  Airports may suck, but there’s a comfort in that suckiness, the awareness that it’s never different, and that we all just focus on ourselves into the whole thing is over, like a really long shot or something.  Plus, most of us Americans have a bad association with unexpected things happening around planes.

But it kept coming.  “Ha! Hehehe!  HAHAHAHA!  Oh dear, oh dear…”

Ugh, it was so nerdy.  I had to see it.  I had to, and when I looked up I saw my fellow miserables also trying to kind of look without looking, their eyes glancing around, at the TV, at the floor, at the window, but passing her on the way.

Yep, nerd.  Around my age, actually, like freshman or sophomore in college.  Glasses, of course.  Pokemon shirt or whatever was popular back in those days among the nerdy.  And she was reading a book.  A hilarious book, apparently.

But there was something else that took the neediness to the next level.  Something I couldn’t put my finger on for a moment.  Until she laughed again, and it was so much more nerdy with vision attached to it, her whole body convulsing, her eyes lighting up like she was a Jewish kid that got to celebrate Christmas, the way she did more than laugh, she shook her head and then nodded and whatever people do when they’re in a comedy show and no one else can see them.

And that’s really what it was that struck me: the total lack of care of what anyone thought about her.  The book was funny.  She laughed.  Laughed like we all actually laugh, not like a freaking cartoon princess.  It was utterly unappealing, and that’s what made it so fascinating.  What the hell was she thinking?

At the time I just kind of shook my head and focused back on my own sad life and misery in the airport, adding this to the list of sufferings.  I went back into being a nameless, faceless, empty airport prop, waiting for the needle to get out of my arm.

But then it just kept happening. “HAHAHAHA! Heh. HEE!  Heehaw!”

It was like torture.  But not because the laugh was annoying, it wasn’t.  It was natural.  It was normal.

And that’s just what tore me up.  That’s what bothered me.

Life, as far as I was aware, am still aware, is a series of events in which we try to fit in.  In which we would never allow a true cry, a true thought, let alone a true laugh, escape our lips in the company of people we do not know.  Life is a performance and the audience is scary and super-judgmental.

I know, I used to be a nerd.  Scratch that, am a nerd.  Nerdiness was never encouraged, was never tolerated.  I stuffed that neediness deep, deep down, and even college and nerdy friends didn’t make me feel fully comfortable in my awkward, supremely enthusiastic, obsessed-with-all-the-things mentality.  The airport was just an extreme version of reality: where anyone, everyone needs to hide who they are to find true happiness (happiness = no one pointing out you are different).

And here was this… person… just… shattering that.  Just, totally, utterly destroying the illusion.  What the hell?

It wasn’t fair of her, really.  To remind us that we aren’t just numbers.  To remind us that life is so much more beautiful when we’re enthusiastic and bubbling and alive, and when we get to show it to the world.  It wasn’t fair that she was reminding us that we were all nerds, really, all had some sort of utter joy that we were bottling up in an anxious desire to satisfy our middle school demons.

This damn reminder, this damn reminder.  That it doesn’t really matter what other people think.  That she was a million times happier than any of us would ever be just because she was absolutely, ridiculously insane and let herself show it to the world.

We stuff our enthusiasm down our own gullets like it’s the devil.  I suppose that’s part of why so many people in America are anxious, depressed, over-prescribed.  I suppose it may even be part of the reason we all die of heart disease (being a country that drowns its sorrows in fat, I’m sure, doesn’t hurt either).  I suppose that’s why we throw our souls into stuff like politics and the bad, preachy kind of religion, and just, like, anything we can criticize and get angry at, because then, at least, we get to feel, to live, some emotion with total abandon.

Damn her for reminding me that it can be different, that emotion expressed can be utterly worth it, that life isn’t meant to be a popularity contest, that enthusiasm is just the best.  Damn her.


Posted

in

by

Comments

38 responses to “Don’t Laugh In The Airport”

  1. jordan 1 mid Avatar

    I intended to post you one very small remark just to give many thanks yet again on your fantastic tips you’ve featured here. It was quite remarkably open-handed of people like you to present publicly just what many of us could possibly have offered for sale for an electronic book in making some profit for themselves, chiefly considering the fact that you could have done it if you wanted. The creative ideas additionally served to become a fantastic way to fully grasp that most people have similar passion the same as my very own to find out a little more with reference to this problem. Certainly there are some more enjoyable moments up front for folks who see your website.

  2. yeezy outlet Avatar

    My wife and i have been quite thrilled Emmanuel managed to complete his survey using the ideas he received through your site. It is now and again perplexing to just always be freely giving thoughts which usually people may have been trying to sell. So we remember we have the writer to thank because of that. The most important explanations you’ve made, the straightforward website menu, the relationships you can make it easier to foster – it is many superb, and it is making our son in addition to our family reckon that this matter is thrilling, which is certainly especially indispensable. Thanks for everything!

  3. golden goose francy Avatar

    There are certainly plenty of particulars like that to take into consideration. That is a great point to bring up. I supply the ideas above as common inspiration however clearly there are questions just like the one you deliver up where the most important factor will likely be working in trustworthy good faith. I don?t know if finest practices have emerged around things like that, however I am certain that your job is clearly recognized as a fair game. Each girls and boys really feel the impression of just a second抯 pleasure, for the remainder of their lives.

  4. jordans Avatar

    I wish to show some appreciation to you for rescuing me from this instance. After browsing throughout the online world and coming across opinions which are not productive, I figured my life was gone. Being alive without the presence of answers to the difficulties you have fixed by way of your entire site is a crucial case, as well as the ones which might have negatively affected my career if I hadn’t noticed the blog. That knowledge and kindness in playing with every part was vital. I’m not sure what I would have done if I had not encountered such a point like this. It’s possible to at this point look ahead to my future. Thanks for your time so much for your professional and results-oriented guide. I won’t be reluctant to propose the blog to anyone who will need guide on this situation.

  5. yeezy Avatar

    I simply needed to say thanks once again. I am not sure the things that I would’ve achieved in the absence of the recommendations shared by you about that theme. It had been the frightful situation for me, nevertheless coming across a new well-written avenue you treated it made me to cry with delight. Now i am happier for this information and thus hope you are aware of an amazing job that you are undertaking educating the rest through the use of your web site. Most probably you’ve never met any of us.

  6. supreme Avatar

    I just wanted to develop a brief remark so as to appreciate you for all the unique tricks you are writing at this site. My long internet search has now been recognized with wonderful details to talk about with my close friends. I ‘d mention that many of us website visitors actually are definitely fortunate to exist in a decent site with so many wonderful people with valuable plans. I feel really privileged to have seen your webpage and look forward to some more exciting minutes reading here. Thanks a lot once again for a lot of things.

  7. kyrie 7 Avatar

    I definitely wanted to develop a brief note so as to thank you for those awesome techniques you are posting on this site. My considerable internet look up has at the end of the day been paid with wonderful ideas to share with my good friends. I ‘d assume that we visitors actually are truly blessed to live in a fabulous site with many special individuals with helpful pointers. I feel truly privileged to have encountered your entire site and look forward to plenty of more brilliant times reading here. Thank you again for everything.

  8. bape Avatar

    Needed to write you a very little observation to finally say thank you over again over the superb guidelines you’ve discussed in this case. It’s really incredibly open-handed of people like you to convey openly what many individuals might have made available as an e book to help make some cash on their own, certainly now that you could possibly have done it in case you desired. Those tips as well served as a easy way to be sure that some people have similar zeal just like my personal own to figure out somewhat more with reference to this condition. Certainly there are many more enjoyable times ahead for many who find out your blog.

  9. golden goose francy Avatar

    WONDERFUL Post.thanks for share..more wait .. ?

  10. supreme Avatar

    A lot of thanks for every one of your work on this web page. Kim really loves doing internet research and it is obvious why. We all notice all about the compelling means you produce efficient suggestions by means of the website and as well strongly encourage contribution from website visitors on the area while my child is certainly being taught a whole lot. Take pleasure in the remaining portion of the year. You’re doing a first class job.

  11. hermes birkin Avatar

    I actually wanted to develop a message in order to say thanks to you for those splendid facts you are posting at this site. My particularly long internet investigation has finally been rewarded with reputable details to exchange with my two friends. I would state that that most of us site visitors actually are extremely fortunate to dwell in a wonderful place with so many perfect professionals with great tricks. I feel somewhat fortunate to have encountered the webpages and look forward to really more brilliant moments reading here. Thanks a lot once more for all the details.

  12. golden goose sale Avatar

    There are actually loads of details like that to take into consideration. That may be a great point to carry up. I offer the thoughts above as basic inspiration but clearly there are questions just like the one you convey up where a very powerful thing can be working in honest good faith. I don?t know if best practices have emerged round issues like that, but I’m certain that your job is clearly identified as a good game. Each boys and girls feel the impact of only a second抯 pleasure, for the rest of their lives.

  13. gold golden goose sneakers Avatar

    It抯 exhausting to search out educated folks on this matter, but you sound like you realize what you抮e talking about! Thanks

  14. kyrie shoes Avatar

    It抯 exhausting to seek out educated folks on this topic, but you sound like you recognize what you抮e speaking about! Thanks

  15. supreme Avatar

    Spot on with this write-up, I really think this web site needs far more consideration. I抣l most likely be once more to learn far more, thanks for that info.

  16. kd 12 Avatar

    I抎 must test with you here. Which is not something I normally do! I take pleasure in reading a submit that can make people think. Additionally, thanks for permitting me to comment!

  17. jordan off white Avatar

    I抎 have to test with you here. Which isn’t one thing I usually do! I get pleasure from reading a publish that can make people think. Additionally, thanks for allowing me to remark!

  18. fear of god Avatar

    Howdy! I just wish to give a huge thumbs up for the nice information you will have right here on this post. I will likely be coming again to your weblog for extra soon.

  19. off white nike Avatar

    Would you be all for exchanging hyperlinks?

  20. internetgame.me Avatar

    Nice knowledge-gaining article. This post is really the best on this valuable topic.
    internetgame.me

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *