6 Steps To A Popular Jewish Blog (Lazy Man’s Edition)

So, you want to start a successful blog.  A successful Jewish blog.

I get it.  Trust me, there’s nothing more rewarding than people paying attention to you.  Yep, blogs have made it easier than ever before for people like me and you to find an audience.

But the ease of starting a blog has made it harder, as well, for us bloggers to get noticed.  There are a sea of Jewish bloggers for your audience to pick from, so it takes a very well-implemented strategy to take the lead in the race for attention.

But this is the thing: for most people, this sort of thing can be hard.  It can take work.  Effort.  A bit of creativity.

But don’t worry.  You don’t need those things.  From my years of Jewish blogging, I’ve formulated a fool-proof plan for success without working too hard or thinking too deeply.

Let’s start from the top.

1. Pick a villain

There is a reason almost all popular stories divide their characters neatly into the good ones and the evil ones.  People want to believe the world is black and white.  This allows them to feel like they don’t need to improve their own lives and that all their problems come from external forces.

To succeed with your blog all you need to do is take this principle and apply it to the real world.  Convince people that someone (or even better: group of people) is the reason for all the ills of the world, for everything wrong, and you are guaranteed an audience of people dying to convince themselves this is true.

Now, don’t worry.  You don’t have to say out and out that this person (or persons) is your villain.  In fact, I highly recommend that you repeat things like, “I don’t hate anyone,” when people accuse you of villainizing your enemies.

But, of course, you know that’s not true.  They are a tool for your success.

2. Seem creative by disagreeing with everything

Now that you’ve picked your villain, the next step is fairly simple.  Take everything that they think, everything they believe, and find the holes in it.

The beauty of this is that since the world is much more gray than black and white, it’s simple to see the holes in anyone’s beliefs and opinions.  Your job is simply to find them.  And exploit them.

This is something critics have been using for ages.  Film and literature critics love this strategy.  It allows them to exist near the realm of creativity without actually being creative themselves.  You can do this too.  Just criticize and never offer your own solutions to problems you see.

People will admire your cunning wit, your ability to “cut through the BS”, and your no-nonsense attitude.  Other cynical people will flock to you, excited to have found an advocate that makes them look both intelligent and creative.  And with their constant support, you will quickly develop a fanbase that will both keep you in a bubble of agreement as well as get the word out to people that don’t know better.

3. Write about what everyone else is discussing

This is, of course, necessary for the success of any good writer, and especially for all bloggers.

See, talking about things like Women of the Wall, settlements, and other polarizing topics are perfect opportunities for popularity. These topics create the perfect opportunity to do the above two steps.  No matter what side you take, who you align yourself with, there will be a villain.  A villain that your audience will love for you to attack.

And the more you imply that there is really only one bad guy, and that these situations aren’t complicated or subtle, the more readers you will inevitably gain.

The popularity of these topics takes the success garnered from the first two steps and multiplies them.  You’ll be riding a wave of people to your destination: attention and an audience.

Remember: these topics are meant to be abused and overused.  Otherwise, people wouldn’t keep reading about them.

4. Remember: everyone else is breaking halacha

Halacha is a Jewish blogger’s best friend.  Because it is so complicated and rigorous, it’s virtually impossible not to find a way to accuse your enemies of breaking halacha.

This is great because whether you’re liberal or conservative, Reform or Haredi, the groups you oppose will almost always be too heavily focused in a certain halachic direction.  That gives you a perfect opening to attack them for breaking halacha in all the opposite areas, and, even better, distracts people from any of the good they may be doing.

Worried someone else will attack you for breaking halacha?  Don’t worry, there’s a very simple remedy to that: accuse them of lashon hara.  Or ad-hominem attacks.  Or tell them to stay focused on the issue at hand: the other people breaking halacha.

Either way, distraction is your friend.  Remember, you won’t be able to hold up to the same examination you’re putting people under, so keep the focus away from yourself as much as possible.

5. Never forgive anyone

No matter whether you follow the above rules or not, there is one principle of blogging you need to remember above all: you are all that matters.

So if someone criticizes you, even in a mild way, even if only once, they must immediately be blacklisted.  Blacklisted in your mind, blacklisted in your posts, avoided at all costs.

Your blog, as it gains in popularity, will become a powerful way to direct people to various other blogs.  The last thing you want to do is direct someone somewhere where they will find something negative about you.  Blogging is all about the illusion of perfection, and the more you hide your negative flaws, the more people will love and praise you.

At all costs, never link to these people.  Never comment on their blogs.  Never refer to them by name.  If you can also hate them with a deep passion in your heart, that would really help.  Don’t tell anyone about the hate, though.  Keep it on the down low.

6. Lead the witch hunt

There is one time, though, when it’s permissible to link to these people or talk about them.  If you’ve been around the internet a bit, you know how much people love witch hunts.  Witch hunts, much like the ancient real-life equivalents, involve picking a villain and attacking them relentlessly for a slip-up or controversial post.

That’s why this tactic is perhaps the most overutilized one in the books.  Linking to your enemy’s post or article with a horrified comment to accompany it is a genius move.  For bonus points, write a post that is either sarcastic or sanctimonious in tone in response. Both tactics simultaneously accomplish all of the above.  They create a villain, are critical without offering any solution, are about a popular topic, put all the blame on the villain, and further your plans to never forgive anyone ever.

In other words, if you lead a witch hunt you are a hero.

And, truth be told, you can lead a witch hunt even against people that aren’t your designated villains.  Plenty of bloggers do.  The payoff is simply too high to ignore.

One Last Note:

This may all sound a bit confusing.  I understand.

Just remember that there is one guiding principle that will lead you to success: To be a successful blogger, you can’t think of people as people.  They are numbers.  Metrics.  Tools to be used.  Attention is its own reward.  Popularity is the prize  at the end of the rainbow.

In other words, never allow principles, beliefs, or truth to get in your way.  You and your blog are all that matter.  They are all that exist.  All else is illusion.


Posted

in

by

Comments

66 responses to “6 Steps To A Popular Jewish Blog (Lazy Man’s Edition)”

  1. anonymous Avatar
    anonymous

    I am intrigued and a bit confused. Is this supposed to be serious genuine advice? Or is it entirely sarcastic, simply pointing out the low level to which some bloggers must stoop for the sake of becoming popular?

    1. Elad Nehorai Avatar

      #2. But I do genuinely believe these things can make a blogger popular.

  2. Rebecca White Avatar
    Rebecca White

    I think this is what puts me off blogging. I have tried a few times, but I can’t do that villain thing (ok, so maybe the Yetzer Hara plays the villain – but even the YH can be forgiven as it is such an effective spiritual boot camp trainer). So my attempted blogs end up all “nice” and no one is interested and no one reads.

    So I stick to pretty pictures and use them as the oil for Hashem to light up with the words of His wise teachers and sages that He gave us.

    Though I don’t know who your villain is PopChassid? Maybe you could do a blog on advice as to how to have a successful blog sans villain 😉

    1. Elad Nehorai Avatar

      To be clear, part of the point of this satire is to point out that this isn’t the way you HAVE to do it. The way to get around all this stuff is really just to work hard and dig deep into your creativity. And most of all, to be patient. No blog is popular overnight.

      So yeah, work hard, be creative, you will succeed, I really believe that. Just look at Neshamagram!!!!

  3. Malka Hellinger Forshner Avatar
    Malka Hellinger Forshner

    I’m so glad you clarified yourself in your response to Rebecca White…….otherwise I would have just said that this post was just plain ole’ “yucky.” I’ve been toying with the idea of having a blog, but I couldn’t get clarity on “why” or “how.” Now I’ve got something to “chew on.”

  4. Ruti Mizrachi Avatar
    Ruti Mizrachi

    LOVE this post. I am completely revamping my “love all Jews, attempt to love all of G-d’s creation” format. True popularity can only come from deriding and degrading other people. Bonus: I’ll probably get a really hot seat in the World to Come. Yesh!!! [Cue fist pump.]

    Note: The above was an entirely satirical response to an excellent bit of satire, brought to you by Elad, from the makers of Pop Chassid. Thank you for reminding us of how NOT to use this incredible medium. May we use the gift of words to uplift, to build, and once and for all to unite our people.

    1. Elad Nehorai Avatar

      Thank you 🙂 I’ve been debating all day whether to keep this post up, because I’m aware it’s much more acerbic than most of my posts. Still debating, but so far I’m sticking with it.

      1. Ruti Mizrachi Avatar
        Ruti Mizrachi

        I have two words for you: Jonathan Swift. Carry on, soldier. 🙂

        1. daniel.saunders Avatar

          I also thought of Swift when I saw the reactions here. I agree the post should stay up.

  5. Shmuel Avatar
    Shmuel

    Unlike the subjects of your post, I can see that you have put a lot of thought into this one.

    One of my primary concerns when blogging is that I may be saying something that is totally off base, or beyond the pale of proper Torah thought. I’d like to think that a litmus test for that is whether a post garners responses or not; more often than not, my on the mark posts have no response at all – it’s only when I right something that doesn’t pass the collective smell test that I hear about it.

    Maybe that’s my own way of resolving cognitive dissonance concerning the dearth of feedback to my own writing, but I don’t think so.

    Negativity attracts attention; positivity radiates outward…

    1. Elad Nehorai Avatar

      I think in general, your assessment is accurate. Although, obviously it changes a bit as your posts become more popular. But the general rule I follow is this: you can tell how “liked” your post is by the ratio of shares to comments. Meaning, a well-liked post will usually have a lot of shares, and not necessarily much comments (relative to the shares). For example, my Holocaust post may seem like it has a lot of comments (about 180) but it has 42k shares. That’s a huge discrepancy.

      On the other hand, my modesty post, which was by far my most controversial post here, has about 1,000 shares but over 200 comments (and I had to turn off the comments since they were getting so poisonous, so in theory they could have been even higher). Obviously, the ratio of shares to comments there is MUCH lower than the Holocaust post.

      It makes sense psychologically. If you hate something you’re much more likely to complain about it than to share it with others. If you love something, you’re much more likely to talk about it by sharing it with your friends, not by talking about it on the page it was originally posted.

      So, point being, don’t be discouraged by a lack of commentary. Realize that people talk about things through a lot of different channels these days, not just the original site. Most of my comments don’t even come from my site, but from my Facebook page. For some reason, people feel more comfortable commenting there than the site. These things are more multifaceted than it first appears.

  6. Yoel Avatar
    Yoel

    “Blogging is all about the illusion of perfection, and the more you hide your negative flaws, the more people will love and praise you.”

    This is the most beautiful bit of ironic BS. Love it.

  7. Shmuel Avatar
    Shmuel

    I would propose a corollary to the first item, although it involves a little more work than perhaps the “lazy version” would require. It makes an exponential difference if your villain belongs to a group or mindset that people love to hate; this requires being up to date and informed of the cultural fads of the day, which are quite fickle but still hold relatively constant concerning specific groups/topics.
    Anything or anybody that runs counter to the cultural trend is anathema.

  8. […] saw this post on Pop Chassid, another great Jewish blog, and we just had to re-post it here. He laid out his six […]

  9. birkin bag Avatar

    I’m also writing to make you understand what a remarkable encounter our daughter enjoyed using your blog. She even learned such a lot of issues, which included what it is like to possess an awesome giving character to let other folks without difficulty master selected impossible topics. You truly did more than our own expected results. Thank you for showing such beneficial, safe, explanatory and also easy tips about this topic to Evelyn.

  10. goyard bag Avatar

    I wanted to write you that little bit of note just to thank you as before for your personal stunning concepts you have contributed on this website. It’s really surprisingly generous with people like you to provide openly just what a number of people would have supplied for an ebook to help with making some cash for their own end, certainly given that you might have tried it in case you considered necessary. The solutions also acted to become a easy way to fully grasp other people online have a similar passion the same as my own to realize lots more on the topic of this problem. Certainly there are a lot more pleasant sessions in the future for individuals who find out your blog post.

  11. yeezy shoes Avatar

    I precisely desired to thank you very much all over again. I am not sure what I would’ve used without the entire secrets provided by you regarding this problem. It has been an absolute frightening issue for me personally, nevertheless discovering a expert manner you solved the issue made me to leap with happiness. Now i’m thankful for this support and expect you know what an amazing job that you are carrying out educating most people through the use of your webblog. Probably you’ve never got to know any of us.

  12. bapesta shoes Avatar

    I am writing to make you understand what a helpful encounter my daughter went through viewing your web page. She discovered such a lot of pieces, most notably what it’s like to have a great coaching heart to let most people easily master several complicated matters. You actually surpassed our own expectations. I appreciate you for offering these necessary, trusted, educational and also easy tips about that topic to Emily.

  13. golden goose sale Avatar

    I together with my pals were actually checking out the great guides from your site then before long I had a horrible feeling I had not thanked the web blog owner for those techniques. All the men appeared to be absolutely excited to read them and already have quite simply been taking pleasure in those things. Thanks for turning out to be indeed considerate and also for considering some impressive subjects most people are really wanting to be informed on. Our own honest apologies for not expressing gratitude to earlier.

  14. nike dunks Avatar

    I in addition to my friends were found to be going through the good secrets found on your web site and at once developed an awful suspicion I never thanked you for them. Those guys had been so joyful to read through them and have now surely been taking pleasure in them. I appreciate you for actually being indeed accommodating as well as for choosing such fine subject matter most people are really eager to understand about. My sincere apologies for not expressing appreciation to earlier.

  15. yeezy 500 Avatar

    I intended to compose you the tiny observation to help give thanks the moment again with the spectacular pointers you have shown on this page. This is quite incredibly generous with you to grant openly just what many individuals might have marketed as an ebook to earn some dough on their own, principally considering that you could have tried it in the event you desired. These solutions likewise served to be the good way to be sure that most people have the identical eagerness really like my personal own to realize more and more regarding this condition. I know there are millions of more pleasant times up front for people who scan through your website.

  16. palm angels Avatar

    I’m writing to make you be aware of what a magnificent discovery my wife’s daughter experienced browsing yuor web blog. She mastered plenty of details, not to mention what it’s like to possess an ideal teaching spirit to let men and women clearly know just exactly some tortuous issues. You undoubtedly did more than people’s desires. Thank you for offering such practical, dependable, explanatory and as well as unique tips about this topic to Janet.

  17. golden goose ball star Avatar

    Aw, this was a very nice post. In idea I want to put in writing like this additionally ?taking time and precise effort to make an excellent article?however what can I say?I procrastinate alot and not at all appear to get one thing done.

  18. bape Avatar

    I am glad for writing to make you understand what a great experience my girl undergone browsing your web site. She mastered many things, not to mention what it’s like to have a marvelous teaching mood to let folks effortlessly learn about several grueling subject areas. You actually surpassed readers’ expectations. Many thanks for distributing these warm and helpful, safe, revealing not to mention unique tips on your topic to Kate.

  19. golden goose superstar Avatar

    Youre so cool! I dont suppose Ive read anything like this before. So good to find anyone with some authentic ideas on this subject. realy thank you for starting this up. this website is one thing that’s wanted on the net, somebody with a little originality. useful job for bringing one thing new to the internet!

  20. cameronbarandgrill.com Avatar

    Oh my goodness! Awesome article dude! Many thanks,However I am going through issues with your
    RSS. I don’t understand tthe reason why I cannot join it.

    Is there anyone else having the same RSS issues? Anyone who knows the splution can you kindly respond?
    Thanx!!

    my site: diaamond painting kits (cameronbarandgrill.com)

  21. basa.hotsunglass.co.kr Avatar

    It is perfect time to make a few plans for the longer term
    and it’s time to be happy. I have learn this post and if I
    may just I want to recommend you few attention-grabbing issues or advice.
    Perhaps you could write ext articles regarding this article.
    I wish to learn even more things about it!

    Look into my site: visit us (basa.hotsunglass.co.kr)

  22. https://www.bol.com/nl/nl/p/diamond-painting-sealer-90ml-diamond-painting-vernis-diamond-painting-afdichting/9300000140246834/ Avatar

    I was curious if you ever thpught of changing the layout of your site?
    Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe
    you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better.
    Youuve got an awful lot of text for only having 1 or ttwo
    images. Maybe you could space it out better?

    Also visit my web blog diamond painting kits (https://www.bol.com/nl/nl/p/diamond-painting-sealer-90ml-diamond-painting-vernis-diamond-painting-afdichting/9300000140246834/)

  23. https://tinyurl.com/ Avatar

    Asking questions are really nice thing if youu are not understanding anything fully, however this paragraph offers
    fastidious understanding yet.

    Takee a look aat mmy site :: seafood pedddler (https://tinyurl.com/)

  24. golden goose sale Avatar

    I抦 impressed, I must say. Really hardly ever do I encounter a blog that抯 each educative and entertaining, and let me inform you, you’ve gotten hit the nail on the head. Your idea is outstanding; the issue is something that not sufficient persons are speaking intelligently about. I’m very joyful that I stumbled across this in my seek for one thing regarding this.

  25. mama-cucina.com Avatar

    I visited several blogs however the audio quality for audio songs current at ths
    site is truly marvelous.

    Alsoo visit my web page diamnd painting kits (mama-cucina.com)

  26. mb.tickets.wonderworksonline.com Avatar

    I amm sure this paragraph has touched alll the internet people,
    itts really really nice paragraph on building up new webpage.

    Feel freee to visit my web blog – .YyhZEmj7TAM (mb.tickets.wonderworksonline.com)

  27. medium.com Avatar

    I know thhis if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own blog and
    was wondering what all is needed to get set up?
    I’m assuming having a blog like yours woiuld cost a pretty penny?

    I’m not very web smart so I’m not 100% positive. Any recommendations or
    advice would be greatky appreciated. Many thanks

    My homepage redes educacion (medium.com)

  28. dreamygirls.com Avatar

    Hello, I want to subscribe for this weblog to obtain newest updates, thus where can i
    do it please help.

    Feeel free to viit my web page … diamond painting kits (dreamygirls.com)

  29. kyrie shoes Avatar

    I抎 need to verify with you here. Which is not one thing I normally do! I enjoy studying a publish that will make individuals think. Also, thanks for permitting me to remark!

  30. golden goose outlet Avatar

    Spot on with this write-up, I truly think this website needs way more consideration. I抣l in all probability be again to learn way more, thanks for that info.

  31. supreme outlet Avatar

    Would you be occupied with exchanging links?

  32. goyard handbag Avatar

    Oh my goodness! an incredible article dude. Thank you Nonetheless I’m experiencing issue with ur rss . Don抰 know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there anybody getting an identical rss drawback? Anybody who is aware of kindly respond. Thnkx

  33. kyrie shoes Avatar

    I am usually to running a blog and i actually appreciate your content. The article has actually peaks my interest. I’m going to bookmark your site and keep checking for brand spanking new information.

  34. supreme new york Avatar

    I am typically to blogging and i really admire your content. The article has actually peaks my interest. I am going to bookmark your website and hold checking for brand new information.

  35. hermes belt Avatar

    I discovered your blog web site on google and verify a number of of your early posts. Continue to keep up the superb operate. I just extra up your RSS feed to my MSN News Reader. Searching for forward to reading more from you later on!?

  36. bape t shirt Avatar

    Nice post. I learn something more difficult on totally different blogs everyday. It should all the time be stimulating to learn content material from different writers and follow a bit one thing from their store. I抎 want to use some with the content material on my weblog whether or not you don抰 mind. Natually I抣l provide you with a link on your net blog. Thanks for sharing.

  37. https://diamondpaintingkits.nl Avatar

    Heya are using WordPress for yur site platform?
    I’m new to the blog world but I’m trying to get started and create my own. Do you require
    any html coding expertise to make your own blog? Any hrlp would be greatly appreciated!

    Also visitt my blog post diamond painting kits (https://diamondpaintingkits.nl)

  38. https://diamondpaintingkits.shop Avatar

    I read this piece of writing completely concerning the resemblance of newest and previous technologies, it’s awesome article.

    Also visit my blog post … diamond painting kitss (https://diamondpaintingkits.shop)

  39. http://usstulz.com Avatar

    I’m not sur whuere you are getting your information, butt good topic.
    I needcs to spend some time learning more or understanding more.
    Thanks for magnificent info I was looking for check this out (http://usstulz.com)
    information for my mission.

  40. Freiverkauf von Medikamenten in der Schweiz Avatar

    I enjoy what you guys tend to be up too. This sort of clever work and reporting!
    Keep up the fantastic works guys I’ve added you guys to my blogroll.

  41. safetotosite Avatar

    It is imperative that we read blog post very carefully. I am already done it and find that this post is really amazing. https://www.safetotosite.pro/

  42. Medikamente problemlos online kaufen Avatar

    Good write-up. I certainly love this website. Stick with it!

  43. Online-Kauf von Medikamenten in Belgien Avatar

    Just desire to say your article is as astonishing. The clarity to your put up is just excellent and that i could
    assume you’re an expert in this subject.
    Well along with your permission allow me to clutch your feed to
    stay updated with forthcoming post. Thank you a million and please keep
    up the enjoyable work.

  44. sibutramine na sprzedaż w Warszawie bez konieczności recepty Avatar

    This article presents clear idea designed for the new
    people of blogging, that in fact how to do running a blog.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *