The Moment I Knew I’d Marry Her

St. Louis, 7 years ago.  Walking with the first woman I ever dated as a religious Jew.

She’s got this free-flowing, fun energy.  A sort of calmness that also takes a joy in the world around it.  I like that energy.

We’re walking down the street called Delmar Boulevard near Washington University, and in my memory we’re holding hands, even though you can’t do that when you’re dating as an orthodox Jew.

But in my mind we are, and I think it’s because on that day, that’s how it feels.  We’re walking along after having some hookah, and we’re enjoying the vibe.  It’s got the chill feel of the midwest mixed with the fun of a college town.

We’re talking about the things you talk about when you’re dating: nothing.  Just happy words, flowing in and out, just enjoying each other’s presence.  Lots of deep talk about the kind of Jews we want to be, what we believe, where we see life going.  But it doesn’t really matter, does it?  What we care about is how happy we feel together, how right this feels.

 

That’s when it happens.  Out of nowhere, we hear a, “Woo!”

It’s this woman that was walking the opposite way from us, who just a moment ago was walking along quietly.

She’s this larger woman who has the happiest look on her face in the world.  She’s got colorful necklaces, and they all seem to just be an expression of the happiness she wears on her face.  Her eyes are closed shut like there isn’t a world around her, like what’s inside of her is all there is.

“Oh yeah! Woo!”

She waves her arm around and she starts dancing.

There is no music . Not really.  It’s more like a cacophony of the blues bars, hookah places, funky restaurants, people laughing with friends, cars driving by.

What this lady is dancing to is clearly entirely in her mind.  She was walking by us, normal as anything, and then suddenly she was lost in a world of music that we couldn’t hear.

She’s dancing on the sidewalk, no worries about who’s looking at her, maybe not aware there is anyone looking.  Her head bouncing, her arms up in the air, her body gyrating.  “Mmm! Yeah!”

My date and I stare at each other and I see her calm, joyful eyes laughing with me.  But it’s not a mean laugh, not a mocking laugh.  It’s just… thankful.

Then the woman stops as quickly as she started.  She starts walking again, this time with more of a jump to her step, and the happy look on her face isn’t gone, but her eyes are open now.  

And then she’s gone.

Now my date and I, we look at each other again, and we laugh.  In my mind, we’re holding each other and falling on the ground and holding on to each other to keep ourselves from falling at how much we’re laughing.

Inside, that’s how we laughed.  But it came out like a quiet laugh that we shared together.

 

We’re sitting at another bar now, and we’re talking.  We’re talking about that moment, and how wonderful, how perfect it was.

I watch my date’s eyes.  Again, there’s no mocking in them.  I go on and on about how amazing it was to just see someone totally not aware of the world, totally happy, totally in the moment.  Forget the reason, what was going on, whether she was “normal” or not.  That moment was real.  That joy was real.

And my date, she nods and agrees, and we smile and we laugh about it some more and we imitate her, not to make fun, but because we both wish we had the woman’s spirit.

 

That’s how I knew I would marry her, even if maybe I couldn’t put it in those words at that time.  That smile of hers… those eyes… that calmness… the appreciation of a moment that would seem insane to others or mocked by them…

She understood madness better than others because she was crazy as me… not in a bad way… but by being a bit outside the world no matter how much we tried to keep our feet on the ground.

She loved the world because she didn’t fit into it.  That’s the type of woman I knew I needed in my life, the type of person that I was meant to share a life with.  I live outside the world, but so often I forget to be grateful, so often forget to see its beauty, so often forget there’s a meaning to it all.

She’s the joyful reminder that there is.  Her vision from outside is from a place of security, a place of knowing that life is inherently meaningful.

 

Marriage is this fascinating world where everything is constantly changing and evolving. You look at yourself just a few years later, then six years later, and you think, wow, that was me?  You’ve changed as much as you did as an adolescent, because you are constantly adapting, constantly shifting to fit this new entity in your life.

But just as much as evolving and growing is such a part of marriage, there are also those anchors that keep your marriage breathing, keep it alive.  The unchanging things you can grasp onto when you’re confused and lost and tired of all this evolution.

That moment, where the woman danced in the streets of St. Louis and I saw my date, my soon-to-be-wife and mother-of-my-children, for who she really was… that’s one of my favorite anchors.

It was a moment when I saw her joyousness, her confidence in the world, her grounded madness, and my soul fell into hers, joining it in an eternal embrace that marriage would bring us to through its retroactive power.

Maybe that’s why I imagine that we held hands when we walked down the street.  Maybe that’s why I think we hugged and laughed as if no one was looking.  Because we did, it’s just that no one saw.  We were up in the air of spirits with the dancing woman on the street, seeing the truth that only mad love can see.


Posted

in

by

Comments

38 responses to “The Moment I Knew I’d Marry Her”

  1. Alex Blair Avatar
    Alex Blair

    “It was a moment when I saw her joyousness, her confidence in the world, her grounded madness, and my soul fell into hers, joining it in an eternal embrace that marriage would bring us to in through its retroactive power.”

    Elad, that is beautiful…..makes me think of my husband, and what we had. Thank you.

    Alex

  2. Jemima Dominic Avatar
    Jemima Dominic

    I feel this beautiful love story is an antidote to the false and shallow “love and first sight” narrative… This is more about falling in love with the way another person sees the world, with the way they choose to live their life… than with anything external….It’s really comforting and reassuring to read a “love story” which isn’t about someone’s “beautiful smile,” “gorgeous eyes…” etc etc etc. I love it.

  3. ggdb Avatar

    Thanks a lot for providing individuals with a very remarkable opportunity to read from this web site. It’s always very brilliant and stuffed with a great time for me and my office mates to visit your site at the least three times per week to find out the latest tips you have. Not to mention, I’m just at all times motivated with your unique opinions served by you. Selected 1 tips on this page are really the simplest we have ever had.

  4. goyard store Avatar

    I simply had to say thanks all over again. I do not know the things that I might have accomplished in the absence of the actual ways documented by you over that area of interest. It was before an absolute traumatic situation in my position, but coming across a new specialized manner you solved the issue forced me to leap over joy. I will be grateful for this advice and in addition have high hopes you really know what a great job you have been doing instructing the mediocre ones thru a site. I am certain you’ve never encountered any of us.

  5. off white t shirt Avatar

    I have to show some appreciation to you just for rescuing me from this particular trouble. Just after searching throughout the the web and meeting recommendations which were not powerful, I figured my entire life was well over. Living without the presence of strategies to the issues you’ve solved by way of the posting is a critical case, as well as ones which might have adversely affected my career if I hadn’t encountered your site. Your knowledge and kindness in touching all things was invaluable. I’m not sure what I would have done if I hadn’t encountered such a stuff like this. It’s possible to at this time look ahead to my future. Thanks a lot so much for this high quality and result oriented guide. I will not be reluctant to endorse the website to anybody who ought to have guide about this issue.

  6. yeezy 700 Avatar

    I wanted to compose you one very little remark to help say thanks a lot again over the gorgeous suggestions you’ve provided here. It’s certainly remarkably open-handed of people like you to grant without restraint just what a number of people might have marketed as an ebook to generate some bucks for themselves, particularly since you might well have done it if you decided. These guidelines in addition served to become a good way to be certain that other people have similar fervor the same as my own to know more when considering this matter. I believe there are many more pleasurable moments in the future for people who look into your blog.

  7. golden goose skystar Avatar

    There are actually a number of particulars like that to take into consideration. That may be a great level to bring up. I provide the thoughts above as normal inspiration however clearly there are questions just like the one you deliver up where crucial factor will be working in honest good faith. I don?t know if greatest practices have emerged round things like that, however I am sure that your job is clearly recognized as a good game. Both girls and boys really feel the influence of just a second抯 pleasure, for the remainder of their lives.

  8. Travis Scott Air Jordan Avatar

    Thank you so much for giving everyone an extremely wonderful opportunity to read articles and blog posts from here. It really is so lovely plus packed with fun for me and my office mates to visit the blog not less than 3 times a week to see the newest issues you have. And definitely, I’m so usually happy considering the extraordinary creative ideas you give. Selected two ideas on this page are honestly the most suitable I have ever had.

  9. cheap jordans Avatar

    I would like to show my thanks to this writer for bailing me out of this circumstance. Because of looking throughout the online world and coming across advice which were not productive, I assumed my life was well over. Being alive without the strategies to the issues you’ve sorted out all through your good short article is a crucial case, and the ones that might have adversely affected my entire career if I hadn’t discovered your site. Your skills and kindness in touching the whole thing was important. I’m not sure what I would’ve done if I hadn’t discovered such a point like this. I can at this time look ahead to my future. Thanks so much for this skilled and result oriented help. I will not hesitate to endorse the website to anybody who needs to have guidelines about this area.

  10. kyrie shoes Avatar

    Thank you a lot for providing individuals with an extraordinarily breathtaking possiblity to read articles and blog posts from this site. It is always so lovely plus packed with fun for me personally and my office acquaintances to search your site really three times every week to find out the latest stuff you have got. And indeed, we’re usually motivated considering the unbelievable ideas you give. Selected 3 tips in this post are ultimately the most suitable we’ve had.

  11. goyard outlet Avatar

    I would like to convey my affection for your kind-heartedness in support of folks who actually need help with this subject. Your real dedication to passing the message throughout became particularly important and has regularly empowered employees much like me to get to their endeavors. This valuable instruction denotes much a person like me and substantially more to my office workers. With thanks; from everyone of us.

  12. off white outlet Avatar

    I not to mention my buddies have been examining the best solutions from the website while suddenly I had a terrible suspicion I never expressed respect to the website owner for those strategies. My ladies had been as a consequence joyful to see all of them and already have extremely been having fun with them. I appreciate you for being indeed helpful and also for considering some fine subject areas most people are really wanting to be aware of. My personal honest apologies for not saying thanks to you sooner.

  13. golden goose glitter Avatar

    This is the fitting weblog for anybody who desires to search out out about this topic. You realize so much its nearly exhausting to argue with you (not that I really would want匟aHa). You undoubtedly put a new spin on a topic thats been written about for years. Great stuff, just great!

  14. golden goose shoes sale Avatar

    I discovered your blog website on google and test just a few of your early posts. Proceed to maintain up the very good operate. I simply further up your RSS feed to my MSN News Reader. Seeking forward to studying more from you in a while!?

  15. ball star golden goose Avatar

    You should participate in a contest for top-of-the-line blogs on the web. I’ll recommend this website!

  16. golden goose sliders Avatar

    Youre so cool! I dont suppose Ive learn something like this before. So good to find somebody with some authentic thoughts on this subject. realy thank you for starting this up. this web site is something that’s wanted on the net, someone with a little originality. helpful job for bringing one thing new to the web!

  17. jordan 13 Avatar

    It抯 hard to search out educated individuals on this subject, but you sound like you realize what you抮e talking about! Thanks

  18. kobe byrant shoes Avatar

    I am often to running a blog and i really recognize your content. The article has actually peaks my interest. I’m going to bookmark your site and preserve checking for brand spanking new information.

  19. yeezy 350 Avatar

    Can I simply say what a aid to search out somebody who truly knows what theyre speaking about on the internet. You positively know the best way to convey a difficulty to mild and make it important. More folks have to read this and perceive this aspect of the story. I cant believe youre no more in style because you undoubtedly have the gift.

  20. Jordan Travis Scott Avatar

    WONDERFUL Post.thanks for share..extra wait .. ?

  21. off white outlet Avatar

    very good publish, i actually love this web site, carry on it

  22. internetgame.me Avatar

    Your posts always have a lot of really up-to-date information. Where did you come up with this? Just stating that you are very imaginative. internetgame.me

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *