On Not Writing

She emailed me and she said, Mr. Pop Chassid, didn’t you know I’m a fan? I’d like a bumper sticker, please, she said. Here are a few artists for artist of the week.

Oh, and by the way, how come you haven’t been writing recently? Where you been? What you been doing? Why don’t you write? Why don’t you create? I like it, she said.

Don’t you get it? Don’t you understand? That’s what I wanted to ask.

How can I write?

The lasts posts I wrote, I took down. Three posts in a row, I tore off the site after hurting people’s eyeballs, wasting their time and polluting their minds with mindless mush that was created for the wrong reason.

Do you have any idea what that’s like, I want to ask. To know you’ve hurt others with your own words. You’ve torn the world down. You’ve hurt people. If the pen is mightier than the sword then writers are killers.

Dramatic. But that’s how it feels.

Every time we write something wrong, every time we say something false, we’re breaking the world up bit by bit, even though most of us don’t realize it. Most of the time we aren’t aware and so we go on saying careless hurtful things, things that we regret maybe days maybe months maybe years later. Sometimes we never know we’re supposed to regret. We’re spitting on G-d’s creation, hurting the world that could be so perfect, if we only left it alone, if we only stopped talking.

Didn’t she get it? Every time I opened my mouth, it was breaking up. Every time I allowed my finger to press the “Publish” button in WordPress a bit of the world got torn to shreds, and it was happening more and more, the more popular Pop Chassid got.

But no, she wanted a damn bumper sticker.

After she wrote me, I sat down and stared at my laptop. And I wrote. Not to anyone else. Just me and G-d and a white screen. All talking to each other. Our voices echoing in a mirrored pyramid. We talked and we talked. And at first it was just me and I was bitching and I was crying and I was complaining, why can’t a person create when his heart is singing for something more, for something real, why does it have to be that every time he slips into a world of marketing, a world of smoke in mirrors, where what is fake and untrue is his reality? Why do the great rabbis write silly books with silly titles about Kosher this and Kosher that? Why is it that the higher we reach, the lower we dig?

The questions echoed and for a long time there was no answer and so the fingers danced some more on the keyboard and the white screen shimmered with some black letters and at least it was me and the screen, even if G-d didn’t’ show his face.

But soon another voice entered the conversation. At first it was a whisper and it was quiet so that it hardly showed up on the screen. It said a word here and there, interrupting my manic writing, saying shhh, shhhh calm down. But the fingers kept going and the screen kept shimmering and soon the voice, I guess it had to get louder. And it started to speak. And it started to reason. And soon it was alive and talking and taking over the whole screen.

It said, “Do you even know what I am? Do you even know who I am? Don’t you know I created something? I wrote a story, a book, a blog (G-d help us). And it’s filled with plot holes and errors and misspellings and in the process of the book, the book I’m still writing, many people have died. Every person that ever existed so far has died. Some of them in horrible, disgusting ways. Some got shoved into flames. Some got put in between bricks when the Egyptians were building their damn buildings. Some got – you get the idea. The world is messed up.

And I made it.”

Maybe the words don’t seem like much now because they’re out of my mouth, but they felt like something when they spoke to me from the screen.

The words on the screen, the other voice, it was saying, what is this? You think you can sit back and do nothing?

What if G-d sat back. What if G-d stayed a nothing. What if G-d chose to sit back and not create because he was worried that he would crack some eggs on the way to making his cake?

Nothing. Nothing would happen.

You. Me. The white screen with the silly black letters. They – we – wouldn’t be.

If we believe in G-d then we need to create. Because if we don’t create, G-d’s whole plan, the whole “create the world” thing falls apart. We’re going back in time, back to when there wasn’t anything and asking G-d to go with it, to be okay with the fact that we are afraid, scared, that we don’t want to hurt anyone or anything.


That voice, it was saying, don’t be scared. It was saying, we’re gonna screw up. We’re gonna have bad grammar. We’re gonna hurt people. But that’s what it means to live in the world. That’s what it means to be a creator. That’s what it means to continue G-d’s story, his Big Project, his blog.

And if we keep writing, keep creating, and then look back at what we wrote with a fine-tooth comb, just like we would a piece of good literature or Torah or Gemorah, we’ll realize those errors, they’re just on the outside. Inside is life. Inside is G-d. Inside nothing went wrong. Because what we wrote, that’s a part of His creation. A part of His book. And we helped write it.


Posted

in

,

by

Comments

92 responses to “On Not Writing”

  1. Shlomit Avatar
    Shlomit

    An absolutely amazing piece of writing !!!
    Loooove your conclusion.

  2. Rachel Landes Avatar
    Rachel Landes

    This is incredible. Honestly, you just rock.

  3. […] I stopped writing for a while because of this.  I even wrote a piece about the struggle. […]

  4. kyrie irving shoes Avatar

    I simply needed to thank you so much again. I’m not certain what I would’ve implemented without those strategies revealed by you directly on this problem. Completely was a real distressing condition in my circumstances, nevertheless viewing this well-written style you resolved the issue forced me to cry over contentment. Now i’m happier for your help and even expect you find out what a great job you’re undertaking educating the others with the aid of your blog post. I know that you have never got to know all of us.

  5. golden goose shoes sale Avatar

    The next time I read a blog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as a lot as this one. I imply, I know it was my option to read, but I truly thought youd have something interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about one thing that you would fix if you happen to werent too busy searching for attention.

  6. bape shoes Avatar

    I actually wanted to develop a brief note to thank you for the precious ways you are posting on this site. My time-consuming internet lookup has at the end been recognized with incredibly good concept to share with my colleagues. I would admit that most of us readers are definitely blessed to dwell in a really good community with so many brilliant individuals with good hints. I feel pretty fortunate to have come across your web pages and look forward to plenty of more excellent times reading here. Thank you once more for everything.

  7. off-white Avatar

    I have to get across my appreciation for your kind-heartedness for visitors who really want assistance with this field. Your real dedication to getting the solution around became amazingly insightful and have without exception enabled workers just like me to realize their pursuits. Your new warm and helpful guidelines implies a lot a person like me and even further to my mates. Warm regards; from everyone of us.

  8. off white Avatar

    My husband and i ended up being quite delighted when Louis managed to round up his research through your ideas he obtained in your blog. It is now and again perplexing to just find yourself offering tips and hints which usually some other people might have been selling. So we know we have the blog owner to thank for that. Most of the explanations you’ve made, the simple web site navigation, the friendships your site assist to promote – it is all impressive, and it’s really aiding our son and us understand that matter is thrilling, which is certainly rather essential. Many thanks for all!

  9. golden goose Avatar

    I simply desired to thank you very much yet again. I do not know the things that I would have used in the absence of the entire concepts contributed by you relating to such area of interest. It was an absolute intimidating concern in my opinion, but spending time with a new skilled technique you handled that made me to weep for happiness. I’m just grateful for this information and even hope that you realize what a powerful job that you’re doing educating many people with the aid of your web site. More than likely you haven’t encountered any of us.

  10. goyard outlet Avatar

    I enjoy you because of every one of your hard work on this website. Ellie enjoys working on investigations and it’s really easy to understand why. My spouse and i learn all relating to the powerful ways you make rewarding strategies via the website and in addition recommend contribution from other people about this article and our own child is always discovering a lot of things. Enjoy the rest of the new year. You are carrying out a really great job.

  11. westbrook shoes Avatar

    I not to mention my guys were looking at the great thoughts on the blog while all of the sudden came up with an awful suspicion I had not expressed respect to the site owner for those tips. Those boys appeared to be as a consequence joyful to see all of them and have without a doubt been having fun with those things. Many thanks for indeed being simply accommodating and for utilizing this kind of brilliant ideas millions of individuals are really desirous to discover. My personal sincere regret for not expressing gratitude to sooner.

  12. golden goose Avatar

    I am glad for writing to make you understand of the brilliant experience our princess obtained checking your webblog. She came to understand a wide variety of pieces, which include how it is like to possess an ideal teaching spirit to let many people smoothly completely grasp some tricky things. You undoubtedly did more than our own expectations. I appreciate you for rendering those warm and helpful, safe, informative and easy tips on your topic to Tanya.

  13. chrome hearts Avatar

    I must express my admiration for your generosity in support of those people that must have assistance with this particular subject matter. Your very own commitment to passing the message up and down has been exceptionally important and have without exception permitted somebody like me to attain their dreams. Your own informative tutorial entails a lot to me and a whole lot more to my office colleagues. Many thanks; from everyone of us.

  14. palm angels Avatar

    I happen to be writing to make you be aware of of the useful encounter our princess went through reading your blog. She picked up too many issues, which include what it’s like to have an ideal teaching heart to make other folks quite simply have an understanding of specific grueling topics. You undoubtedly exceeded our desires. Thanks for supplying such precious, trustworthy, explanatory not to mention unique tips on that topic to Julie.

  15. jordan outlet Avatar

    A lot of thanks for your own hard work on this website. My mum delights in conducting internet research and it’s simple to grasp why. Most people notice all about the compelling manner you create helpful guides on the web blog and even strongly encourage contribution from people about this theme then our favorite child is now studying a whole lot. Take pleasure in the remaining portion of the new year. You’re doing a powerful job.

  16. ggdb shoes Avatar

    Good day! I just wish to give an enormous thumbs up for the good data you could have here on this post. I will probably be coming again to your blog for extra soon.

  17. hi star golden goose Avatar

    After examine a couple of of the weblog posts on your web site now, and I truly like your method of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark website record and shall be checking again soon. Pls check out my website as well and let me know what you think.

  18. gold golden goose sneakers Avatar

    There is noticeably a bundle to find out about this. I assume you made certain nice factors in features also.

  19. gap yeezy Avatar

    https://starlightpr1.com/blog-detail/26360/The-Year-Of-The-Slap:-Pop-Culture-Moments-In-2022/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/StarterPackage/

  20. yeezy shoes Avatar

    Once I initially commented I clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now every time a comment is added I get four emails with the same comment. Is there any method you can take away me from that service? Thanks!

  21. jordan 4 Avatar

    Would you be thinking about exchanging links?

  22. jordan outlet Avatar

    The next time I learn a blog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as much as this one. I imply, I do know it was my option to read, however I actually thought youd have one thing interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you could repair if you werent too busy searching for attention.

  23. yeezy 350 Avatar

    There are actually loads of particulars like that to take into consideration. That could be a nice level to convey up. I provide the thoughts above as general inspiration but clearly there are questions like the one you bring up the place a very powerful thing will probably be working in honest good faith. I don?t know if finest practices have emerged around issues like that, however I’m certain that your job is clearly recognized as a good game. Both girls and boys really feel the impact of only a moment抯 pleasure, for the rest of their lives.

  24. supreme clothing Avatar

    When I initially commented I clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get four emails with the same comment. Is there any approach you may remove me from that service? Thanks!

  25. Denese Avatar

    Definitely believe that which you stated. Your favorite reason appeared to be on the net the easiest
    thing to be aware of. I say to you, I certainly get annoyed while people think
    about worries that they just don’t know about.
    You managed to hit the nail upon the top as well as defined out the whole thing without having side-effects , people can take a signal.
    Will probably be back to get more. Thanks

  26. Tommy Avatar

    Thanks designed for sharing such a good opinion, paragraph is good, thats why i have
    read it entirely

  27. Eric Avatar

    I like looking through a post that can make people
    think. Also, thank you for allowing me to comment!

  28. utrogestan verkrijgbaar zonder voorschrift in apotheek in België Avatar

    I’m gone to tell my little brother, that he should also pay a
    visit this blog on regular basis to take updated from hottest news.

  29. Quincy Avatar

    Awesome! Its in fact awesome paragraph, I have got much clear idea on the topic of from this post.

  30. vancenase online te koop zonder problemen Avatar

    I blog frequently and I seriously thank you for your information. The article has really peaked my interest.

    I’m going to book mark your website and keep checking for new information about once a week.
    I opted in for your Feed as well.

  31. free show room Avatar

    A broad selection of interactive features and communication tools are available

  32. commander abilify à Monaco Avatar

    I’m really impressed with your writing skills
    as well as with the layout on your blog. Is this a paid theme or did you modify
    it yourself? Anyway keep up the excellent quality writing,
    it is rare to see a nice blog like this one
    these days.

  33. Koop loratadine in Europa Avatar

    This is very attention-grabbing, You’re a very professional blogger.
    I have joined your rss feed and look ahead to looking for extra of your wonderful post.
    Additionally, I’ve shared your web site in my social networks

  34. eskalith 300 mg te koop in Marokko Avatar

    Thankfulness to my father who informed me regarding this webpage, this web site is really amazing.

  35. precio de finpecia 5 mg en Suiza Avatar

    I all the time used to read article in news papers but now as I am a user of net so from now I am using net for articles or reviews,
    thanks to web.

  36. no se requiere receta para comprar otosil en Ciudad de México Avatar

    I all the time used to study piece of writing in news papers but now as
    I am a user of internet so from now I am using net for content, thanks to web.

  37. Wo kann man Medikamente in Tunis finden? Avatar

    After looking over a number of the blog posts on your web
    page, I truly appreciate your way of writing a blog. I book-marked it to my bookmark site list and will be
    checking back soon. Please check out my website as well and tell me what you
    think.

  38. lasix recomendado por médicos en Colombia Avatar

    Hello Dear, are you in fact visiting this web page
    on a regular basis, if so then you will without
    doubt get pleasant experience.

  39. salmeson te koop zonder recept in Amsterdam Avatar

    Hello, this weekend is nice in favor of me, as this occasion i am reading this
    wonderful educational piece of writing here at my house.

  40. Wo kann ich aldara 5% in Österreich kaufen? Avatar

    I’m now not sure the place you are getting
    your info, but great topic. I must spend a while learning more
    or working out more. Thanks for great information I used to be
    in search of this information for my mission.

  41. acheter estrace en Belgique sans problème Avatar

    Hey there! This is my first visit to your blog!
    We are a group of volunteers and starting a new project in a community in the
    same niche. Your blog provided us useful information to work on. You
    have done a marvellous job!

  42. modalert ohne Rezept in Zürich Avatar

    I needed to thank you for this fantastic read!! I certainly enjoyed every bit
    of it. I’ve got you saved as a favorite to check
    out new stuff you post…

  43. indication de vente de clarinex au Maroc Avatar

    What’s Going down i’m new to this, I stumbled upon this I have found It
    absolutely useful and it has aided me out loads.
    I hope to give a contribution & aid other users like its helped me.

    Great job.

  44. urispas à prix abordable Avatar

    That is really interesting, You’re an excessively professional blogger.
    I have joined your feed and sit up for searching for
    more of your magnificent post. Additionally, I’ve shared your web site in my social networks

  45. acticin disponible en ligne en Espagne Avatar

    Hi there colleagues, how is the whole thing, and what you would like
    to say regarding this paragraph, in my view its really amazing in support of
    me.

  46. dónde encontrar albenza en Túnez Avatar

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts on Hair transplant cost
    and options. Regards

  47. achat de rabeprazole en ligne Avatar

    Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to
    say that I have truly enjoyed browsing your blog posts.
    In any case I’ll be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write again soon!

  48. Comprar promethazine en línea sin receta en Bogotá Avatar

    Yes! Finally something about Understanding male pattern baldness.

  49. Preis von uroctal in der Apotheke Avatar

    I always emailed this web site post page to all my friends, as if like to read it
    after that my friends will too.

  50. Compra apo-pioglitazone en Bélgica con indicación de venta en Marruecos Avatar

    Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of
    any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my
    newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite
    some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something
    like this. Please let me know if you run into anything.
    I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.

  51. cetirizine disponible en Brasil Avatar

    Do you have a spam issue on this site; I also
    am a blogger, and I was curious about your situation; we have created
    some nice practices and we are looking to trade solutions with other folks, please shoot me an e-mail if interested.

  52. online apotheek in Nederland die tedralan verkoopt Avatar

    I have read so many articles or reviews concerning the blogger lovers however this piece
    of writing is actually a fastidious post, keep it up.

  53. clindamycin prix Suisse Avatar

    Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that
    automatically tweet my newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for
    a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something
    like this. Please let me know if you run into anything.
    I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.

  54. aleve in den Niederlanden mit ärztlicher Verschreibung erhältlich Avatar

    Awesome! Its actually remarkable article, I have got much clear
    idea regarding from this article.

  55. dove posso comprare anastrozolo? Avatar

    Does your website have a contact page? I’m having problems locating it but, I’d like to shoot you an email.
    I’ve got some recommendations for your blog you might be interested in hearing.
    Either way, great blog and I look forward to seeing it improve over time.

  56. koop ramipril in Frankrijk Avatar

    This is very interesting, You are a very professional blogger.
    I have joined your rss feed and stay up for looking for more of your excellent post.
    Additionally, I’ve shared your web site in my social networks

  57. jak kupić doxin w Poznaniu Avatar

    Do you have a spam problem on this blog; I also am a blogger, and I was wondering your situation; many of us have created some nice procedures and
    we are looking to trade strategies with other folks,
    why not shoot me an email if interested.

  58. kopen cardura in Duitsland Avatar

    Hmm it seems like your site ate my first comment (it was super long)
    so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I submitted and say, I’m thoroughly
    enjoying your blog. I too am an aspiring blog blogger but I’m still new to
    everything. Do you have any helpful hints for rookie blog writers?

    I’d definitely appreciate it.

  59. Koop estrace zonder ongewenste effecten in Luik Avatar

    This is my first time go to see at here and i am actually happy to read everthing at
    alone place.

  60. loratadine zonder ongewenste bijwerkingen Avatar

    Excellent pieces. Keep posting such kind of information on your blog.
    Im really impressed by your blog.
    Hello there, You have performed a great job.
    I’ll certainly digg it and for my part suggest to my friends.

    I’m confident they’ll be benefited from this website.

  61. où acheter du akamin sans ordonnance Avatar

    What a material of un-ambiguity and preserveness of precious experience regarding unexpected emotions.

  62. prijs van prednicot 20 mg met een recept in Nederland Avatar

    Hi there, i read your blog occasionally and i own a similar one and i was
    just curious if you get a lot of spam comments? If so how do you prevent it, any plugin or anything you can suggest?
    I get so much lately it’s driving me mad so any help is very much appreciated.

  63. Online-Apotheke für vermox Avatar

    I constantly spent my half an hour to read this webpage’s articles or reviews daily along with a mug of
    coffee.

  64. Medikamente ohne Risiken für die Gesundheit Avatar

    I do believe all of the ideas you have offered in your post.
    They’re really convincing and will definitely work. Still, the posts are too quick for newbies.
    Could you please lengthen them a little from subsequent time?

    Thank you for the post.

  65. alendronate 70 mg rezeptfrei erhältlich in Luxemburg Avatar

    Hi there, I enjoy reading all of your article. I wanted to write
    a little comment to support you.

  66. acheter du agerpen en France Avatar

    Appreciation to my father who informed me about this web site,
    this web site is really remarkable.

  67. Belgien Avatar

    I love it when folks get together and share thoughts. Great website,
    continue the good work!

  68. Leon Avatar

    I all the time emailed this blog post page to all my associates, for the reason that if like to
    read it after that my links will too.

  69. prezzi di medroxy in farmacia a Verona Avatar

    I always emailed this webpage post page to all my friends,
    because if like to read it after that my links will too.

  70. Paesi Bassi Avatar

    I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was great.

    I do not know who you are but certainly you are going to a famous
    blogger if you aren’t already 😉 Cheers!

  71. alendronate con receta en Bruselas Avatar

    Hmm is anyone else having problems with the images on this blog loading?
    I’m trying to find out if its a problem on my end
    or if it’s the blog. Any feed-back would be greatly appreciated.

  72. Omar Avatar

    Excellent write-up. I certainly appreciate this website.
    Continue the good work!

  73. terbinafine verkrijgbaar bij Nederlandse apotheken Avatar

    I am truly happy to read this webpage posts which
    consists of tons of helpful data, thanks for providing such statistics.

Leave a Reply to Shlomit Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *